changed?

i don't know it is good or bad
i don't know what should i consider it as good or bad
re-read back those posts i wrote in this 2 year
i realize..i changed a lot...not too bad, not too good...
something had changed to bad, and something had changed to good
erm...i think....emotional? way of thinking?
i think i can control my emotional better than before, isn't?
my way of thinking...er, maybe....it is good for me, and my future life...right?
the bad is, i changed to be lazy, and rely on my beloved...
the starting on my diploma journey, i felt suffering...
or should i say, i keep thinking to give up and go back to my little warm world?
that time, i keep calling him to come here and accompany me
what he said cant even go in my mind
ended up, we quarrel, i angry him..
hehe, childish right? i think so...
slowly, i comfort with the situation and environment...
that is the start i changing little bit...
i pushed myself to be more confident and matured..
pushed myself to be good and prove them who i am...
i own my friend, sure it not a long relationship...
faced many problem, but it not ruining my confident
my heart was getting stronger though it...
yes i can feel it...i changed
i very happy with that, sure with my dearest...
still that word, it not standing longer...
the next year....i was reset...to the beginning me
know what? i still very silly and believe everyone
i never thought someday, someone may harm me...
when it come, i was so shocked...
but thanks to them, i was understand well with the humanity and reality now
how to survive in this society is what i need to learn
maybe...God think is time to give me a grown up gift
God sent me a great present, that's met with my roommie
a nice girl that will understand me, took care of me well and treat me nicely...
i was so appreciate..when i think to give up...
that will be a surprise for me...
my beloved, my darling and my roommie...the great presents i get...
a great friend group in secondary school....
what else i want? more attention?
hehe....i really change a lot right?
my darling, do you think so?
my beloved, do you think so?
my roommie, maybe u don't know who exactly i am when i was in secondary school...
so i wont ask for your opinion ^^
i wish i can change more better....and i gonna to fix it up
it's a special day for me too, remember it ya, my beloved bibi ♥ ^^
the more happiness i hold, the more challenge for me in future...
but i will try to be brave, i will try my best to hold my happiness and sweetness tight
i, gonna to change~~~
^^